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Saturday, February 16, 2008

Our Littlest One

This is the littlest member of our family....what a difference a few weeks can make!


The above ultrasound was taken on January 21 (8.5 weeks pregnant) and as you can see, the baby doesn't look like much yet.

The below ultrasound was taken today (12 weeks) and we can't believe how much he/she has grown!


It looks like the baby is sucking it's thumb here. The baby gave me quite the show but by the time Dan came in the room he (I'll just say he instead of he/she every time...maybe next time I'll use "she" :o)) decided he was done his exercises for the moment. It was so amazing to see our baby. A real human living inside of me. A little person that already has features of BOTH Dan and I! After meeting Mya and seeing how much she looked like Dan, it seems more realistic to us now that the baby inside me is part of US...which already has me wondering which features of Dan and I this baby has.

Our due date has been changed 2 times now....our first date was August 31, second one was September 8th, and today they tell us that the date is August 30! We like this one the best...that puts me at 12 weeks pregnant today.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Awesome Chewy Granola Bars

I don't know about you guys, but I'm always looking for recipes for healthy, yummy snacks that I can make myself instead of buying in the store...and knowing exactly what's in them. I tried this granola bar recipe and it's awesome! It's also one of the ones with the least amount of butter and sugar (that tastes good anyway!). Here's the recipe:

4 1/4 c. rolled oats
1/4 c. ground flax seed (if you don't want to use flax just add an extra 1/4 c. of oats)
1 c. all-purpose flour (next time I might try using 1/2 whole wheat)
1 tsp baking soda
1/3 c. packed brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2/3 c. butter, melted (I used a touch more)
1/2 c. honey
chocolate chips and whatever add-ins you want (dried cranberries, almonds, seeds....)

Preheat oven to 325. Lightly grease a 9x13" pan.
In large bowl combine dry ingredients. Add wet ingredients. Stir in choc chips and other add-ins. Mix well. Press mixture into the pan, as tight as you can, with a fork or your hands. Bake for 18-22 minutes or till golden brown. Cool for 10 minutes and then cut them into bars. Let bars cool completely before removing from the pan.

Enjoy~

Thursday, January 10, 2008

2007 at a Glance...


Looking back at 2007, I would say that the theme has been about adjustments, trusting, resting, flexibility, sorrow, grieving, thankfulness, prayer, and hope. I will start at the beginning.

On December 28 (06), my dad’s machine shop burned down, and later that evening he had a heart−attack. Thankfully the firemen were still here and could provide dad with oxygen right away, which minimized the damage. His health is progressing and he has begun working in his re−built shop.

In February we notified Nipawin Bible College that we would be moving on, as we felt God leading us to Galilean Bible Camp in Blind River, ON and we planned on leaving Nipawin in June. The plan was for Dan to be the Program Director for the summer, and then throughout the summer Dan would be in application to be a full−time missionary with CSSM which was necessary for him to become the full−time, year−round Assistant Director for the camp.

In May, Dan had the wonderful opportunity of going on a Missions Trip to Honduras as the team leader of a group of students with NBC. The group of them spent time helping with building/up−keeping projects and spending time loving on the local kids and families. Even though he doesn’t know any Spanish and they don’t know any English, he was amazed at how much fun they could still have with the kids, and how in the church services they could all worship God together.

On June 2nd, we rolled out of NBC in our U−Haul truck, headed for Blind River, Ontario. We were very excited for the next chapter of our lives, but also very sad to be leaving Nipawin. We were only there for 2 years but we built some very tight relationships and really enjoyed the fellowship that came with living on campus. There were definitely some heavy tears as we left. The plan was for us to move into a newly−renovated house at the camp as soon as we got there, but it turned out that the house wasn’t ready for us yet, and they
didn’t know when it would be. We ended up unloading our belongings into an empty church parsonage in Blind River (about 10 minutes from the camp), setting up the bare minimum there, and mostly living out of a room in the camp lodge. This was a huge adjustment, especially for me (Laura) as I was really looking forward to getting things prepared for our baby’s arrival in August. It was very hard to find peace with this but eventually, through much prayer and working through my materialism, it got easier. We really enjoyed our summer, Dan as the Program Director and me as a very pregnant lady, getting to know the camp staff, Dan organizing each day’s events, being amused by the campers, seeing kids come to know Jesus, and spending time in the lake. Looking back it was a very good summer, even through the many adjustments. God taught us a lot about trusting in Him and being content with what’s truly important. We can also see how those adjustments prepared us for what was coming next.

At the end of July, we had to decide whether we wanted to continue the application process for Dan to be the full− time Assistant Director for the camp, as he was only committed for the summer at that point. We are confident that God wanted us at the camp for the summer but we just didn’t have peace about staying long−term. Near the end of the summer, Dan started contacting churches that were looking for a youth pastor, and we were waiting, trusting that God would lead us to the right place at just the right time. Trusting was not always easy knowing that we had a baby on the way and we had no idea what was next, but God has never failed us yet and we knew He had it all figured out.

As many of you already know, our sweet baby girl Mya was born on August 16th. She was born not breathing and without a pulse, but after 10 minutes of the doctors working on her, she was breathing with the help of a respirator. At first we had hope that she would be okay, but we found out the next day that due to the lack of oxygen, Mya had un− repairable damage done to her liver, kidneys, and brain. She had no brain activity at all and it was basically the machines that were keeping her alive. We were able to hold her for the last 10 hours of her life with no tubes attached. She died in our arms on August 18. She was such a beautiful little girl and we miss her terribly. We heard the autopsy results in November and they found nothing. It’s comforting in one way that they found nothing because that means it’s not genetic, but it’s also hard not to know what caused this. Our doctor said it’s likely that the umbilical cord got twisted or pinched, cutting off Mya’s oxygen, but they don’t know for sure. Thank you to all of you who sent us cards and flowers and gifts and prayers!!!! Your support has taken some of the edge off of our pain and we can definitely see how God has answered prayers. Of course we are still missing our sweet baby like crazy, but we are starting to feel like we can live again. There were (and still are) some pretty rough moments where the thought of not having Mya seems unbearable but day−by−day we are surviving. It’s amazing to see God’s hand in the whole thing. Not that it was His plan for Mya to die, but how He has given us the best−case−scenario possible for this situation. Some of the ways we see His hand in this:
• God leading us back to Ontario
• Most of our belongings were still packed in boxes, making it easier for us to pack−up and go to Goderich to be with our family
• Because we didn’t have a home, we didn’t have a chance to set up a baby room the way we would have if we were settled.
• Mya was alive for 30 hours…which was a miracle
• Almost everyone in our family was able to be at the hospital (6 hours away) and love on Mya while she was still alive
• Dan was in−between jobs which has allowed him to take some time to heal
These are just some of them. We are so thankful for these things.

Three days after Mya died, we left Blind River for Goderich to be with our family. We moved in with my parents. We had Mya’s funeral on August 23rd outside at the cemetery.

In September, Dan got offered a job to work for the Weed Man (lawn care) for 5 weeks, aerating lawns. He did this until the week after Thanksgiving. At the end of October, we left for a 5 week trip out west. We have friends all along the way so we were able to visit with lots of them. We went all the way to Vancouver and saw so much beautiful scenery! We also got the chance to be at Nipawin Bible College for Alumni Weekend...where Dan was the speaker! Overall our trip was a good time of healing for us.

We just spent the last couple days celebrating Christmas with both of our families. It was hard at times thinking about Mya, wondering what our Christmas would have been like if she was still here, wishing we could have bought her presents and cute little dresses. But on Boxing Day we found out some pretty exciting news…we are expecting our 2nd baby! It’s still very early in the pregnancy…the due date is the beginning of September. Normally we would wait until we’re past the “iffy” part of the pregnancy before we tell people, but
because of our circumstances, we feel that we’d rather have the support of our friends and family right from the beginning. We are both excited but also scared about the next 8 months. It is very easy for fear to creep in, as well as having happy/sad memories of our pregnancy with Mya. We still miss her very much and while having another child gives us hope, there will always be a Mya−sized hole in our family. We would appreciate
your prayers!

We are still living with my parents in Goderich, waiting for what’s next. Dan is looking for youth pastor jobs and has had some interviews. We are both very much anticipating the beginning of the next chapter of our lives. Sorry this letter has been so long! This has apparently been a very eventful 2007!

I hope you all have a wonderful beginning of this new year.
Love,
Dan and Laura

Friday, January 04, 2008

Christmas happenings

Hey all....I guess it's been a while since I've blogged last.
We had a good Christmas with all our families. Here's some pictures:


Christmas is also my mom's birthday, so we got up early and made mom & dad breakfast before we left for the day.


Christmas with the Collins'








Christmas with my family on Boxing Day...the guys got the steam engine out. Apparently it's very fascinating.


Mom and Dad on our walk at the beach


Supper at Boston Pizza. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm


We decided to go to Gatineau QC for New Year's with our friends' Micah and Sarah. While we were there we went to the War Museum. Very interesting!


Coldly waiting for the fireworks to start

Thursday, December 06, 2007

We're Back!

We arrived back in Goderich on Friday. We're glad to be back but we had a really great trip. Some parts were pretty hard emotionally but I think there was healing in that too. We were blessed by so many people and had many wonderful conversations, beautiful views, fun shopping stops, fun gas station stops (some of those little stores have an amazing variety of hot drinks!!! I'm addicted to hot drinks. Mostly the ones that are really bad for you)....

Here are some more pictures.


We arrived in Nipawin and welcomed winter! It was very cold and lots of snow, but so beautiful....cold, crisp, and sunny.


We got to be at Nipawin during Alumni weekend, and there's always a NBC students vs. NBC Alumni hockey game. Dan was glad for the chance to play. He's the one in the yellow.


Dan was the Alumni weekend speaker


This is a result of my extreme boredom after many hours in the car. The last 3 days of our trip were spent in the car ALL DAY....thank goodness for Target and Wal-Mart Supercentre stops along the way! :) I don't know why I never thought of setting the timer on the camera in the car before!?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

more pictures


We arrived in BC on Sunday morning. Our drive through the mountains was so beautiful. The mountains, snow covered trees, waterfalls, rams....what a great Sunday morning service.








This is in Stanley Park in Vancouver




wishing....







Sunday, November 04, 2007

more of our trip


We arrived in SK on Thursday...safe and sound.


Only in the prairies! We were driving down a gravel road and had to stop to let this farmer go by with his scarey cattle. This was definately a first time experience of this for Dan and I and we weren't sure what to do. But we just stopped on the side of the road and waited till they went by us.


We found out later that this ugly thing was a BULL....and walked just inches beside my window and mooooooed at us really loud and stared us down with his evil stare as I sat there scared for my life. Not really. But I was scared. If he decided to jump on us he would have crushed our car.


We arrived in AB yesterday. The drive was really long but it was a beautiful day and we stopped lots along the way to take pictures.



We woke up this morning to this. It's pretty but I'm not sure I like the idea of winter quite yet.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

On the Road

So our road trip has begun. We're in MB for the night, heading to Regina tomorrow. So far things have been going really good. Today we saw the first snow of the season around Kenora. Nothing too crazy...just some flurries. Here's some pics.





Yes, that is a deer strapped onto the back of a car. The things people will do for free meat. I'm guessing they found it on the side of the road...since if they were actually hunting they would have brought a truck with them.


One of the scenic lookout spots we came across. The lookout was nice too but I found the drive to the lookout much prettier.






Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Heading West



Well..Saturday is the day we head out West for the month. We're going to try and post pictures along the way. We're really looking forward to it...trying to brace ourselves for the transition to the winter weather we'll likely be driving into!

Sunday, October 07, 2007

How We're Doing

So many of you have been sweetly asking how we're doing, so I thought I'd post something here. It's hard to answer that question...how we're doing. It really depends on the moment you ask. There have been parts of days that we feel pretty good and feel like we have hope...and can see the positive things in all this. Times that we can look at pictures of Mya and smile, feeling so blessed and overjoyed by being her parents, even though we had such a short time with her. But there are still many moments that I can't get my mind off of everything I wish I could be doing with Mya right now. I wish I could just kiss her and smell her and hold her forever. Take walks with her in the stroller. Be up late at night feeding her. Listen to the funny sounds she makes and watch her try to smile. Buy cute little outfits for her. Cuddle her up and take her outside. Sometimes this sadness turns into frustration and anger that we can't have this, but what are we going to do about it? Nothing will bring her back. That's the hardest part. We were so ready to be parents (as ready as we could be, of course).

This week Dan will start his 5th and last week of work for the Weed Man, aerating lawns. It's been really getting him in shape. He wore a step-counter one day and it said he took 28,000 steps that day (not counting the walking he did after work!). I think the normal amount you're encouraged to walk per day is 10,000 steps.

I've been keeping busy here with my mom. Last week we organized and painted the loft and hallway upstairs. That was a fun project that helped give me some motivation. I've seemed to keep my days pretty busy...visiting people and doing little projects. I decided I'm going to make a scrapbook of Mya. At first it was something I didn't think I wanted to do, but now I've realized it will be good for me, and it will be something to help our future kids know who Mya was. I think it will be a hard project but maybe it will help the healing process. If any of you have any great ideas of what to add in the book...let me know. I plan to include pictures of my pregnancy, ultrasound pictures, baby shower pictures, etc...

We're still waiting to find out what God is going to take us from here. Dan would like to be a youth pastor so he's pursuing that and we're waiting for direction. This is a bit frustrating waiting and waiting, since we've technically been waiting since the end of July, but we're trusting that God knows what's best and His timing is perfect. He's never let us down before. And we've realized that He's never EARLY in letting us know, but never late either.

While we have this in-between time, we're planning to take a trip out West to see a bunch of friends. We're looking forward to that time together...another part of our healing process.

Thank you all for your love and concern and prayer! I don't know how we'd do this without the support we've received. Thank you for being the Body.

Here are some misc pictures from the last few weeks.


If you look closely you can see a bunch of Monarch butterflies in the branch. There were thousands of them in this park in Goderich. They were here for about a week.


These are all Monarchs.


Kassy & I when she was here for Mya's funeral


We got the priveledge to go sailing with my cousin and her husband in Toronto a couple weeks ago...it was great.




Dan getting his tattoo. It's Mya's handprint with her name, birthdate and the infinity symbol around it.




Fall pics