Sunday, August 19, 2007

Our Princess is with Jesus

On August 16th at 10:15pm we became parents to the most beautiful, precious little girl, Mya Anne. We left for the Sudbury hospital on Thursday afternoon after I had a non-stress test done in Blind River since the baby hadn't been moving like usual. Blind River sent us to go to Sudbury to get them to check things out so we excitedly got everything ready, hoping that we would get induced that night and we would get to finally meet that little one. About an hour after being in Sudbury the doctor decided we needed to do an emergency C-Section to get the baby out because they could see that she was in distress. Dan wasn't able to come into the operating room because they had to put me right to sleep. When Mya was born she wasn't breathing and her heart wasn't beating. It took the doctors 10 minutes to revive her and they weren't sure how long she was without oxygen before she was born. Mya had to be hooked up to a bunch of wires and tubes (as you can see in the first picture)- she couldn't breathe on her own. She wouldn't physically respond to anything - pain, noise, or touch. It was so hard to see her laying there like that. We tried to spread the word to as many people as possible to pray for a miracle for Mya because we know that God could heal her if that was His will. Whenever we heard another newborn baby crying in the ward, we wanted to bad to go tell the parents how lucky they are to hear their baby cry. Let me encourage you if you have a baby to enjoy every sound and movement your baby makes. Even when it drives you crazy. On Saturday after the doctors did some ultrasounds and x-rays, the doctors came into our room with the news that our sweet baby had extensive damage done to her heart, liver, and kidneys due to the lack of oxygen. They also monitored her brain and found that there was no activity on the upper part of her brain which is what makes her function normally. The doctors that were in the room said that the team of them recommended that we remove the ventilator. This broke our hearts and was probably the hardest moment in our lives. How do you let your child go? How can you do that? This was such a hard decision but we knew we had to. We prayed that God's will would be done, whether He would heal her or bring her to Himself. We realized that we need to live the words of the song "Blessed Be Your Name" when it says "He gives and takes away…when the darkness closes in… still I will say, blessed be Your name". With both of our parents at our side, we held Mya as the tubes and wires were removed from her little body. We didn't know if she would be able to take any breaths on her own so we thought those were our last moments with her. She surprised us and was taking little breaths all by herself. The nurses asked if we had an outfit for her and I didn't really understand why we would dress her, but we took an outfit out of the diaper bag we brought for her and they put it on and bundled her up. She was so beautiful. For the next 10 hours, we got to hold her and cuddle her and sing to her and kiss her and smell her and just watch her as she breathed as long as she could. Most of our family was able to be there and hold her and fall in love with her in the time we had which was a huge blessing. We don't know what we would have done without them. We have been so blessed by our little Mya and we feel so thankful that we had that amazing 10 hours to hold her as if she were a normal baby. No, we never got to hear her cry or see her eyes and watch her smile, but we fell so in love with her and she is part of the soul that Dan and I share. When Dan and I are apart we feel like there's a part of our heart that's missing, and I said to Dan yesterday that now we'll always feel that because there's a 3rd person that shares our soul now. Mya will always be our firstborn, our precious daughter. We are so proud of her. We will never forget her and we will talk about her forever. Down the road when we have more children, they will know all about their big sister. Dan has been such a rock through all of this. He is definitely grieving and has moments where he doesn’t think he has any tears left, but God has given him such strength. He’s given me strength too but Dan’s definitely a couple steps ahead. Our love for each other has grown so much. We don’t know why God allowed this to happen but we thank Him anyway because He knows best. We can already see ways that the short life of Mya has impacted lives. We are thankful that Mya is now with Jesus and that she didn’t have to live a life hooked up to tubes and sitting in a wheelchair and in pain. Leaving the hospital today was really hard. It was a safe place away from the reality of the world going on outside. We had the best nurses in the world and they really nurtured us. We miss them and won’t forget them. They talked with us and cried with us and treated us like we were their family. Our plan is to head back to Goderich tomorrow and live with my parents for a few months. Dan will be able to collect EI for a while and I have 15 weeks of maternity leave. We plan to just spend lots of time together healing with our families. We want to do a bit of traveling to see our friends and just pray for God’s leading in what to do next. Our address will be: 36445, RR#5 Goderich ON N7A 3Y2 The celebration of Mya’s life is going to be on Wednesday August 22nd at 1:00pm at the Maitland Cemetery in Goderich beside where Mya’s body will be buried. Please pray for strength for us for this. We know that there are people praying for us all over the world and we thank you so much. Daddy's girl

30 comments:

  1. Dear Dan and Laura,
    I know we have never met I only know of you guys through our both attending Nipawin Bible School at different times but I wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss. We will be praying for you as God takes you through this time. Keep looking to Him. God Bless You and your family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BIBLE FREAK'S..DONT YOU KNOW GOD ISN'T REAL YOU FOOL'S.

      Delete
  2. Summer11:28 PM

    dear Dan and Laura,

    I am sorry for your loss!! I have tears in my eyes when i read this. Your daughter was really beautiful!! I will be praying for you!!!

    My blog address is www.sunshinecoastkids3.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. I too am an fellow NBC Alumni and I believe that we have met at one time or another at NBC - and I just wanted you to know that I can see the strength of God in you.. Myself being a mother and expecting my second child soon, I don't know if I could respond as you have, knowing that God's will be done. You and Dan will definately be in my prayers and I will get as many people as I can to pray for you as well! Your princess was lucky to be part of such a wonderful family!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Dan and Laura,
    You don't know me but our children attended NBI (Keith & Stacey and Ashleigh B) and I've visited your blog in the past as an interested NBI Mom.
    I know words aren't sufficient at this time but wanted you both to know you are in our thoughts and prayers. As a mother and grandmother my heart aches for you. Your precious baby girl was so beautiful and perfect and it's so hard to make sense of this.
    God bless you as you are already blessing others through this tragedy. His love is evident in your lives and flowing through you even in your sorrow and we will be praying that it will overflow to you as He walks with you through this difficult time.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear Dan & Laura,
    we don't know each other but I heard about you from my sister-in-law, Stacey.
    My husband and I have lost two babies through miscarriage and even though we never got to see our children, it broke our hearts and it was so hard to let go. For us it was so helpful knowing that people are praying, so I wanted to let you know that we are praying (and crying) for you! I admire your strength and it is a big testimony to me.

    - Liane

    PS. One verse that really comforted me, was Jeremiah 29:11
    For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dan & Laura, You are so precious to us and we pray for God's peace and unbelieveable comfort as you work through these next few days and weeks, months. We love you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm not sure if we've ever met but we are family through Christ and my heart is breaking as I read your story. I am blown away and absolutely amazed at your strength and trust in our God. Your family has truly been blessed by little Mya. Keep on trusting in Him and depending on Him for your strength.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dan & Laura,
    We have never met before but I know of you from being at NBI/NBC. We live in Nipawin. I heard yesterday about your precious little girl. You have been in my prayers. As I just read your blog, I have tears rolling down my face. My heart goes out to you. I am praising God & thanking Him for my 3 little children. Thank you for that reminder. I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts & prayers.

    Bryan & Jamie Hildebrandt
    blessings-upon-us.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dan & Laura,

    My heart goes out to you and my prayers are with you also.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous5:54 PM

    Dan & Laura,
    Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you at this very difficult time. My heart aches for you both and we pray for comfort...

    Jarvis & Sandi
    Riley, Brooklyn & Jaxon

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous6:23 PM

    Dear Dan and Laura,
    What a beautiful daughter! We have been and will continue to pray for you. Thank you for sharing with us your special hours with Mya. Tears cannot stay away as I think of the joy and sorrow of your firstborn. I have been reading in Job and cannot fathom what he, or you have been going through. Through all this may God give you strength to say as Job did "The Lord gave and Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." Job 1:21
    Kevin, Grace,
    Elijah, Keturah, & Joshua

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dan and Laura my name is Erin and I came across your blog through Keith and Stacey's blog. My heart is breaking for you right now, and I can't imagine what you must be going through. May you find comfort in the arms of each other, and in the arms of our amazing God, He does give and take away, and He is such a blessed God. He does know all that is planned for your lives, and I'm sure that through this tragedy you will be blessed. I will be praying for you as you try to understand this. God bless. www.noahandtaytay.blogspot.com
    Erin

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous10:55 PM

    Hi Dan and Laura

    My friend Heather Davidson from College days e-mail me on my facebook and shared what you are going through. Six years ago this October my husband Dan and I experienced much the same as you have. Our Son Micah went home to be with the Lord. I can honestly say I know what you are going through and want you to know I will be praying for you through this difficult time of "difficult blessings". I adopted that phrase and although it may not make much sense I believe you touched on it in your blog Laura. Blessed be the name of the Lord. You are very special individuals and I truly believe God has been and will use you and your special treasure Mya to glorify His name. You are in my heart and prayers
    Love Kerri Thomson

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh man, guys, I don't even know what to say but, like the others have already said, my heart breaks for you as you grieve your loss but I am so incredibly blessed by the strength and hope through which you write your story. I can't imagine the grief you feel but am thankful you can sing "blessed be your name." I don't know if I'd be in that place. My prayers are with you both!!

    Stacey

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous12:53 PM

    Dan & Laura,

    My heart grieves with you and for you. Such a beautiful princess, but now she is with Jesus. may our great God's strength and peace comfort your hearts this day and in the days to come.

    Bill Commys

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dan and Laura . . . please know our thoughts and prayers are with you. We are thinking and praying for each of your parents and siblings too.
    Know you are not alone.
    In His Grip;
    Lisa & Mike Hilvers!
    PS: We know Tammy Konieczny who helped the night little Mya was born. Mike is her husband's close friend, Mike was their best man. Tammy wanted to let you know that she is praying for you too.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Your daughter is just precious...what a beautiful name you chose for her. You have been on my heart a lot these last few days and I knew I needed to leave a comment and actually tell you that. May you cling to God and may He hold you close as you go through this incredibly difficult time. I have been praying for you and I will continue to lift you up to Jesus.

    (came by from Stacey's blog)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous10:59 AM

    We're praying for you during this difficult time.
    Doug and Tina Kroeker

    ReplyDelete
  19. My prayers are with you.

    lots of love,
    Dieneke

    ReplyDelete
  20. Dan and Laura,
    Words can't express, but please know you're both in our prayers. Thank you for your example of being amazing parents and faithful believers.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous8:07 PM

    Dear Dan and Laura,
    I am so very sorry to find out about this sad news. My heart breaks for you. Keep close to Jesus and each other and pray. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
    Love you,
    Paulette Lisoway

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous12:14 AM

    Dear Dan and Laura
    I know that there are no words that can soothe a grieving heart, but I want to let you know that my wife and I will both be praying for you.
    Jonathan Hollands

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dear Dan and Laura; I only heard of you tonight, but I grew up in Nipawin and just happened to come across your blog while I was looking at another one tonight...I am so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter and happy for the delight you now have in your son!! I was encouraged by your words about the song "Blessed Be Your Name"...it was a hard song to sing for us 9 1/2 years ago after the loss of our oldest son, Stefan, who was 5, but over the years, I am able to sing it again. May you continue to find peace, knowing that your precious Mya is in Heaven with Jesus! The pictures you posted are precious and I am blessed to have been able to see them. The road of grief is a constant in our lives, but the hope we have in Christ gives us courage to walk forward day by day. God bless you and your little guy. He and his future siblings will learn of their sister and Heaven will be that much more real to them!! We have been blessed with 6 other children...2 that knew their brother for a short time, but 4 who have never met him (yet!!) and we have many talks about Heaven in our home! May God continue to comfort your hearts!! Sincerely, Laura (nee Mlazgar) and Randy Dyck

    *I am the daughter of Ron Mlazgar, who passed away in 1999, and Gai(Mlazgar) and Albert Robinson - who attend Emmanuel Baptist Church, in Nipawin*

    ReplyDelete
  24. ii am soo sorry ;; Readiinq Mya's story made me cry .!! But everything happens for a reason && God just thought lil Mya would be better up in heaven (: .!! my mom also was told that she was awaiitiinq baby && suddently the doctors told her the baby was some how stuck iin her tubes, my mom had to leave her baby die, iit caused her alot of pain but she had no choice . She had to tae a piill that apparently had the baby slide out && this wasnt easy at all beacause my mom saw her baby boy && my liil brother die .
    I cant imagine the pain you && Dan went through but you were strong && iits seems liie good people (:
    God Bless You && Your 2 Children taht by the way are very beautiful .

    ReplyDelete
  25. Laura and Dan,

    We've never met and honestly, I don't know how I stumbled upon this blog but I am so thankful I did. Your little Mya is beautiful and pure. I can't imagine the depth of your grief. I admire your strength and hope you always feel the light of your little daughter's soul shining down on you.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I to lost little William Jr. bck in Feb. 2005. I held him and talked to him as if he was listening to me. I loved him as if I had known him for ever. I think of him a lot and cry sometimes because I miss him so much. In the months before his birth we bonded in a special way and after his birth I still noticed his personality yes even in death he held his own. William was still-born and we never knew why but I never questioned it because God knows best. Mya was so beautiful and you all should be proud.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Laura and Dan,

    I don't know you, but am compelled to say something. I am so sorry for your loss... my family and I recently lost our little guy, Declan. He was three months old and we believe he died of SIDS. I just happened to hit 'next blog' and was directed here and think there was a reason. I am touched by your story and am excited to see there is hope that my family and I can find a new 'normal' sometime. Thank you for sharing your story.

    Holle
    www.hollejoy.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  28. Laura and Dan,
    I know that I don't know you but reading the writting up is sad to hear that Mya died.I get sad when I know people that well especially when I love them
    From Natalia

    ReplyDelete
  29. Dear Dan and Laura,
    It broke my heart to read this story and I'm soo sorry it happened to you. Mya was a beautiful baby girl and I'm sorry you got so little time with her. How you're handling it is amazing and you're so inspirational.
    From Lara
    laralu97.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete