Sunday, October 07, 2007

How We're Doing

So many of you have been sweetly asking how we're doing, so I thought I'd post something here. It's hard to answer that question...how we're doing. It really depends on the moment you ask. There have been parts of days that we feel pretty good and feel like we have hope...and can see the positive things in all this. Times that we can look at pictures of Mya and smile, feeling so blessed and overjoyed by being her parents, even though we had such a short time with her. But there are still many moments that I can't get my mind off of everything I wish I could be doing with Mya right now. I wish I could just kiss her and smell her and hold her forever. Take walks with her in the stroller. Be up late at night feeding her. Listen to the funny sounds she makes and watch her try to smile. Buy cute little outfits for her. Cuddle her up and take her outside. Sometimes this sadness turns into frustration and anger that we can't have this, but what are we going to do about it? Nothing will bring her back. That's the hardest part. We were so ready to be parents (as ready as we could be, of course).

This week Dan will start his 5th and last week of work for the Weed Man, aerating lawns. It's been really getting him in shape. He wore a step-counter one day and it said he took 28,000 steps that day (not counting the walking he did after work!). I think the normal amount you're encouraged to walk per day is 10,000 steps.

I've been keeping busy here with my mom. Last week we organized and painted the loft and hallway upstairs. That was a fun project that helped give me some motivation. I've seemed to keep my days pretty busy...visiting people and doing little projects. I decided I'm going to make a scrapbook of Mya. At first it was something I didn't think I wanted to do, but now I've realized it will be good for me, and it will be something to help our future kids know who Mya was. I think it will be a hard project but maybe it will help the healing process. If any of you have any great ideas of what to add in the book...let me know. I plan to include pictures of my pregnancy, ultrasound pictures, baby shower pictures, etc...

We're still waiting to find out what God is going to take us from here. Dan would like to be a youth pastor so he's pursuing that and we're waiting for direction. This is a bit frustrating waiting and waiting, since we've technically been waiting since the end of July, but we're trusting that God knows what's best and His timing is perfect. He's never let us down before. And we've realized that He's never EARLY in letting us know, but never late either.

While we have this in-between time, we're planning to take a trip out West to see a bunch of friends. We're looking forward to that time together...another part of our healing process.

Thank you all for your love and concern and prayer! I don't know how we'd do this without the support we've received. Thank you for being the Body.

Here are some misc pictures from the last few weeks.


If you look closely you can see a bunch of Monarch butterflies in the branch. There were thousands of them in this park in Goderich. They were here for about a week.


These are all Monarchs.


Kassy & I when she was here for Mya's funeral


We got the priveledge to go sailing with my cousin and her husband in Toronto a couple weeks ago...it was great.




Dan getting his tattoo. It's Mya's handprint with her name, birthdate and the infinity symbol around it.




Fall pics







6 comments:

  1. Hi Laura & Dan;
    I love the tattoo Dan . . . such a sweet reminder of her.
    I'm glad to hear that you are both doing so well, through all of this. Please continue to know that we are praying for you as well as a host of other people too, ones you don't even know. Christ is a great sustainer, isn't he? All our love and prayers to both of you, know you are on our hearts.
    Lisa, Mike and the Girls!

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  2. Hi Dan & Laura...just wanted to let you know that we have been thinking of you and praying for you lots. LOTS!! After having my own child I cannot even imagine what it would be like to lose your very own precious baby...all I know is that it would be incredibly tough. Good for you for leaning on God through all this and we will keep on praying for you both!!

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  3. The tatoo is a really neat idea. It's good to hear from you, even though it's probably hard when people are constantly asking how you are doing. I can't even begin to pretend that I know what you are going through, but I can imagine the pain and longing you feel if I think of not having my kids. Then all of a sudden my bad days don't seem so bad anymore.

    Does Dan have any prospects for a job as a youth pastor? I know we could really use one in our church. We have a youth group of about 30 teens that my brother & his wife and Keith & I are leading right now. It's pretty crazy when you have to plan for it in your 'spare' time!

    I don't scrapbook, but I love the idea of creating a scrap book for Mya, and I'm sure it would be a great way to help you as you try to pick up the pieces and move on.

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  4. That is such a cool tatoo that Dan got!

    That is good that you are both doing well!

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  5. Sandi6:52 PM

    The scrapbook is a great idea - I will give some thought to what you could put in there. Janice Audette gave me a really neat poem when we lost our baby (miscarriage) so I will pull it out and see if it is applicable for you too. Thank you for posting an update, and for the card you sent to our church. The card was actually scanned and put up on power-point a couple of Sundays before the service began, so I think most people got to read it. We still think of you often and you remain in our prayers.

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  6. Thanks for posting and letting us know how you're doing. I read your words and I just want to give you a huge hug. There have been many days when I have missed walking downstairs and knocking on your door, but I am so thankful that you are there, at home, surrounded by your family and loved ones. It goes without saying though that I am really looking foward to seeing you soon. We'll be praying that God leads and directs in His plans for you both...especially regarding youth pastor.

    Praying that you will experience God's peace and comfort in every moment of each day. We love you guys so much.

    manda, linds and liam

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